Chicago Marathon

I'm sitting here on Dec 9 and it occurred to me that I didn't write a marathon post. It also occurred to me that I should be running 8-10 miles today. And finally, it occurred to me (as it does daily), that I may be insane for thinking I can train for a marathon by myself during the winter months in Chicago.

First of all, I'm running the Phoenix Marathon the first weekend in March with my soul sister in all things running, Miranda. This is her first marathon and I'm so excited we will be taking on the challenge. However, this challenge of training without a training group, in the dead of winter, seems somewhat impossible to me. I am going back to the start though .... back to when I thought running 13.1 was impossible, back to when I used this blog to help me through those "this is impossible" thoughts. More on Phoenix training later ....

Now, the Chicago Marathon ...  !!!

The day dawned cool, but not cold, with a cloudy start and a possible break though of the sun when I would be mid race. I am was thrilled. I fear heat and sun. I was ecstatic to be in a hat and gloves at the start.

My goal was to run under 5 hours. My wonderful training group pals wanted either to run like hell from the start (my two crazy fast friends), or take it super slow and finish around 5:15 (the rest of the group). I was in the middle and didn't know if I would run with either group. One of the Team to End AIDS coaches was standing with us at the start and overheard me proclaim "I want to run under 5 hours". He seemed slightly unsure I was making a smart decision, because I had trained at tad slower pace than that. I was certain though, that I would attempt to do this. So, we started off the race running together. This turned out to be one of the best race decisions I've ever made. Coach Ross was fantastic. He kept me on pace. He encouraged me, checked in with me, and helped me mentally plan out how I'd do it. We ran together for almost 20 miles. I am terrible at knowing things that involve time. Calculating, adding, subtracting, multiplying, etc., aren't things I have any desire to do while running. I'm much more of a zen runner. I just run. So, Ross helped me think though each stage, told me how I was progressing time-wise, and I didn't have to think about that stuff at all. Glorious.

I was amazed at how quickly the miles flew by. This marathon was different than my first. I was less emotionally swayed by the cheers, friends I saw, and family I hugged. I loved seeing everyone, absolutely, but I felt more focused and less reliant on the energy I got from other people. Perhaps this is because I've now run through cities many times during large races. I knew what I had to do to finish.

An issue arose around mile 6 that concerned me. My right foot, under my arch, began to hurt. This is most likely due to an old injury that flared up during my physical therapy for my IT band issues which started in May. Standing on one leg during PT exercises to strengthen my right side may have put too much strain on that old injury. By mile 14 it was killing me and I was FREAKED OUT. I knew I'd finish, but I thought I may be during intense damage to my foot. I stopped briefly to stretch and pressed on.

Seeing my Mom, Dad, and friend Kerry at mile 17 was amazing. I can't express in words how much it means to me that my family supports me, flies in or drives in for these races, and expresses such support  and love when I run. I am truly blessed. I sometimes feel like races aren't even that big of a deal (I have a problem with minimizing my accomplishments), but my family insists on making them a big deal and I love them for it.

So, the foot hurt, Coach Ross was fantastic, the weather warmed a bit, but it wasn't hot and I ran on. Around mile 19 Ross slowed to check on some struggling T2 runners and I continued on alone. And just like last time, mile 20 was where I hit the wall. Shit just started to hurt. But I had music and for the first time in the race decided to blast some hair metal to get me through. I cried a little. The pain, the people, the training, the day, my friends and family, the other runners, the desire to run for my friends living with AIDS, my time goal, it all kind of hit me at once.

I kept running, thinking, "This is more painful than the last time, what with my foot in extreme pain and my right side killing me (continued IT band issues), but it's easier too." At mile 23 I knew I could accomplish my goal and I knew my Dad would be at mile 26, where I'd turn the corner, run up the hill and finish. I didn't see him at mile 26 and I knew I wouldn't, but I waved and he saw me and that was enough to really push me to run through what was now the searing pain I felt on almost every component on the right side of my body. So, I crossed the finish. God, I was happy to be done, and I quickly learned that I didn't know if I'd be able to walk the distance it takes to get the medal, food, water, beer, etc. I almost fell over on the ground. I was in EXTREME pain, thinking, "I can't feel like this forever, can I? CAN I? This pain will subside at some point in my life, right? RIGHT?!"

It took me maybe 30 minutes or more to walk back to Charity Village. I ran into two other T2 runners and the three of us took tiny baby steps back. Agony. Back in the T2 tent I discovered the age old remedy for extreme running pain, a combination of sitting down and cold beer. Seeing my family, friends, and T2 training pals also helped, along with some intense painkillers.

In that tent, I got to sit next to my Mom and my Dad, that doesn't happen very often, and it was perhaps the highlight of my entire marathon. The day continued, with food and beers with family and friends, walking around the city with my badass medal, thinking I was too exhausted to continue to celebrate, then finding a second and third wind to keep the party going well into the evening.

I did it. 4:47:18. Under 5 hours. I was and still am ecstatic, thrilled, elated, joyous, exuberant, and any other word you want to choose. In 2009 I ran in 5:34:54. So, yes, I'm happy.

It was another day of being thankful for running. Thankful I can run. Thankful I can commit to something, progress, endure, fight the through the setbacks, and generally have the physical health and wellbeing to actually get out there and compete. Thank you, Chicago.

The Start. 

Coach Ross. 

                                                                           

Dad 

Mom and Kerry

Mile 26. On the right. 

The long walk back to Charity Village.

4:47:18

The post before I post about the marathon

I haven't written in months. After studying in Dublin and trying to train for the marathon at the same time, I got out of the habit of documenting my running life. School took up all of my time .... and drinking Guinness, most regularly at a pub called Farrington's in the Temple Bar area.

I didn't train well while in Europe. I managed a great 14 mile run in The Hague and a 16 mile run in Dublin, but they were LONG and slow, and difficult. I didn't run much during the week. Training while spending all day, everyday, in classes was hard. I knew it would be. I told myself I'd train like a mad woman once I got home in August. I didn't really do that either. I did alright, but I wasn't phenomenal. The 18 mile run I was supposed to run in London turned into a 4 mile run. The 20 mile run I tried to run in Chicago didn't work because I didn't read an email closely and went to the wrong location for the training run, so I went home and ate bacon instead. I thought I'd run it the next day, which worked until mile 12 when a torrential downpour that wouldn't let up caused me to throw in the towel and eat pizza instead. Another 12 mile run was terrible due to the heat ..... it was much cooler in Dublin all summer.

So, I kept thinking .... am I ready for the marathon? The MARATHON. This isn't a piece of cake. This  is intense. After the 23 mile run I felt decent, but we had taken it slow, stopping for breaks for the bathroom and water. I had a goal for this marathon, but when I looked at my training I doubted myself. In 2009 I ran in 5:34. My goal this year was to run in under 5 hours. Hmmm .... could I do it?

One thing that encouraged the hell out of me was my time for the Chicago Half Marathon in September. I was astonished I ran a 2:08, a PR by around 7 min. I ran at a 9:47 pace. I was floored. Maybe I am getting better at this running thing .....

So, did I break 5 hours this past Sunday? Tune in to find out ....

More soon ...

JLP

PR on a Thursday night

I tried out an evening 5K this week for the first time, the Jim Gibbons Leukemia Research 5K. I don't always do well in the evening when it comes to running. This is prime nap time in my life, so, I wondered if I would be sluggish. I had new awesome shoes though: Brooks PureConnect. They make me feel pretty badass. I've been running in Vibrams lately and love them, but I don't think I want to run 26.2 in them this fall, and my other shoes are just too cushioned. I feel like I'm running on a cloud and I don't like it. I love how connected to the ground I feel in Vibrams and the Brooks give me a similar feeling. And they look freakin' cool.

Anyway, I don't like 5K much. They hurt. I tend to run like a bat out of hell (for me that's anything in the 8:15-9:15 pace range). I feel the need to run almost as fast as I can since it's such a short distance. The problem is I'm not good at keep that pace for longer than 1.5 more or so. I get that far and start thinking, "I hate this. This is hard. This sucks." I also have an issue with my right hip right now and I'm sore all the time. That didn't help. I forgot my headphones too and I hate hearing people huff and puff while running. It just annoys me and makes me anxious for some reason.

I walked a water stop, which annoyed me, but I needed to. I walked again at another point. I thought, "It's only 3.1 miles, why am I walking??"I was annoyed with myself. It was just hot and muggy and I was going fast and didn't feel that well. So, 30 seconds of walking helped a little.

I picked it up even faster the last 200 meters or so. I had a chance at being under 28:30. I wasn't sure what my PR was, but I was fairly sure it was near that time.

So, the race ended. I had a beer, listened to some cover band play Matchbox 20 songs, and made my way home.

This morning I saw the results: PR by 3 seconds. Awesome! 28:30! 9:11 pace. Cool. I was 22 out of 66 in my age group. Anytime I'm not in the bottom half of my age group I'm pretty thrilled.

Cool. First PR in anything in over a year. Rock on!

Unbelievably cool running experience

My 5th grade student, Timmy, asked me run a race with him. He asked in some frigid month and the race was in May. I recall thinking: "This is months away. Sounds good. Let's do it." So, I signed up. Timmy is 10. Timmy wanted to run the Solider Field 10 miler. Little did I know this would end up being one of the absolute coolest running experiences I've ever had. I thought maybe he'd be super slow or super fast and then super slow. I thought he may walk. He's 10 after all. WHAT 10 YEAR OLD RUNS 10 MILES??

The answer: THIS KID. 

We met at the start line, in corral 13. Timmy was also running with his Dad, Mike. We waited, an electric storm passed just to the north, the anxiety crept into my hands, where I always feel it the most. I wasn't exactly ready for 10 miles. I was supposed to run 6 that morning and 10 seemed far. 

Timmy, Mike, and I stayed together for the first mile, then, Mike veered off to wait in line for the restroom. Timmy and I continued for the next 5 or so on our own.

This kid is amazing. Our pace was around 10:30 most of those early miles and at mile 6 I asked how he was feeling. He said he "great" and it didn't appear he had even broken a sweat. People saw us and commented, "Wow, way to go kid!", "You're going to by an Olympian, kid." It was like running with a celebrity. Timmy commented on how comfortable and similar our paces were. He said we should run more races together and I said absolutely. I did tell him he would need to stop growing up though. He was going to get better and better, and probably dramatically faster. I, on the other hand, would most likely not be a drastically different runner in a year. 

He would check in with me. "How are you feeling, Ms. Perry?" What a cool kid.

We listened to our music and at times I thought he was talking to me and then I realized he was singing along to his favorite songs.

We saw a guy head for the trees and Timmy asked where he was going. I had to explain nature called. 

Mike caught up with us and we finished strong, Timmy sprinting the final 50 yards on Solider Field. This was the first time he had ever run 10 miles in his life. 

I have been told this was nice of me, to run with one of my students. I think it's the other way around though. I think it was nice of Timmy to invite me to run with him. Most kids shutter at the thought of seeing teachers outside of the building. Timmy knew I was a runner and wanted to run with me. How cool is that?! It was a true honor to see a kid so brilliantly complete a distance I didn't run until I was 28 years old. 

He is one of those people I look up to because of his joy for running. I have those moments sometimes, but often they are few and far between. Timmy and I just ran, for the fun of it, and it wasn't easy for him or me. We both had moments of pain and discomfort, but that's often the most joyous part ....  fighting until you cross the finish line. 

One more thing. Timmy was the youngest person to run this race. He was the ONLY 10 year old. So, I did run with a celebrity. Wow. 

The running ROCK STAR, Timmy, with me and his Dad.

Day One.

The Chicago Marathon. 151 days, 11 hours, 30 minutes, and 31 seconds ....

I will be running again this year. My first, and only marathon, was running Chicago in 2009. And beyond the physical lessons learned, I learned A LOT about how I view myself, as a runner, and as a human in general. I think I've come a long way in three years. Three years ago I didn't call myself a "runner". Even after completing the marathon I didn't always think I qualified as a runner. It took 7 half marathons and a spattering of 5Ks, a 10K, and a 10 mile race, to teach me that yes, I am a runner, and I was a runner back in 2009 too. I didn't train very well in 09 and I think that guilt, coupled with my slow time made me feel like a failure .... even though I ran the race. I've learned a lot. We are all runners. The friend who gets out there to go one mile doing a run/walk is a runner. The friend who is completing an ultra is a runner. And everyone in between. Slow, fast, if you cross the start line and cross the finish, even if you're crawling, you are a runner. I had some work to do on my confidence, and yes, perhaps I'm still working on it, but completing a marathon and then feeling like a total failure afterwards, even when receiving nothing but support from my friends and loved ones, taught me a great deal about myself.

So, it's 2012 and I'm doing it again. I was so excited on Saturday morning for day one of training. I'm running with The Team to End AIDS (T2) and will be raising money for the Chicago AIDS Foundation. This is the same program I trained with in 2009. Day one dawned foggy and damp, with intermittent drizzles. We run at 7am on Saturday mornings and even though I can't get out of bed early on a work day to save my life, I was on my feet, caffeinated, and ready to go by 6:30.


On day one we run 3 miles to determine our pace groups. Last time I was in the Alberto Salazar group (3 mile time between 31:31-33:00). This year I am in the Kara Goucher group (I LOVE HER!!), (3 mile time between 28:31-30:00.) Improvement! I like improvement!

I love this list of greats.

It felt a bit like coming home again to run on the lakefront path that early in the morning. I don't do that if I'm not running with a training group. I like sleep too much to get out of bed. I love the people of all ages, all ethnicities, all sizes, while hearing the cars on Lake Shore, passing familiar intersections and landmarks, and seeing the lake in all of its moods. It feels like Chicago woke up from a long winter nap (even though this winter wasn't actually long), and is ready to attack the pavement all spring, summer, and fall.

After three miles I met my pace group briefly and we took a day one photo (will be shared in a future post). I'm looking forward to Saturday runs with these people I know nothing about. We'll support each other, laugh, bitch, swear, tell stories, and get each other through long runs in all kinds of weather. I recall a brutal 12 miler in 2009 that nearly killed me due to heat and lack of salt consumption. My pace group friend had me envision my power animal. I couldn't decide on which animal ... bear? sloth? black cat? Thoughts?

More to come. I'll keep you posted.

Channeling the barefoot gods.

So, I bought Vibrams awhile ago, but have only run in them a few times. Once I went out for an easy 3 miles in them and could hardly walk the next day. It was clear I was using different muscles while running in 5 Fingers. A constant thought I have right now about my running is that I need to find the joy. Be more positive. I need to not stalk the next PR or the next super fast mile. I need to just run because I love what it has done in my life. I need to just be. Just run. It's OK if I'm not in the shape I was a year ago. Just run. It's OK if I'm not running races right now. Just run. So many runs lately have felt empty, difficult, negative. I'm thinking "I'm not this or that." "I'm not training like I should." "I suck at this." But this Thursday's 3 miler in my Vibrams brought back the joy I needed. First of all, I love barefoot running. I feel strong, swift. I think "tred lightly", and feel as if I actually am.

Time: 32:41
Distance: 3.01
Average Speed: 5:52
Pace: 10:52

I felt a sense of "YES" during this run, not "why didn't you run 4 miles?" or something similar. I need to get back to the basics, back to the days when I was astonished I could run a mile without stopping (sophomore year in college). Running makes me feel good and when it starts to do the opposite I need to remember each run counts, each run makes me stronger. 3 miles is good. It's not 4 or 8 or 10 or whatever, but it's good. Running twice a week isn't optimal, but it's still good.

And leave it at that. The barefoot gods pulled me along and I may stay and hang out with them for awhile.

a struggle or fight.

This word helped me accomplish 5.26 on Saturday. It may have a semi-permanent home on my hand for awhile.

One Run at a Time

Since my last post I've run three times.

Run 1: I thought switching up my normal run time would help me break out of my lethargy a bit. So, I ran after work instead of at night. I found it jarring and annoying. There are so many people at the gym at 5:30 pm! There's light streaming in! I love the solitude of being at the gym between the hours of 9-11pm. And I suppose I like the darkness or at least I'm very accustomed it, considering the fact that I am so very annoyed at seeing light in the sky. I wallowed in this run, telling myself I was shamefully lacking strength, stamina, endurance. I walked a little. I hate walking. Defeat! By the end I trudged through 3.05 miles with a pace of 11:51. I was annoyed with everything. My hair in my face. Underwear riding up. Lack of any air movement in the gym. So many people working out around me. Some 80 year old man next to me running like the wind while I felt like I was going in slow motion. "You incompetent sloth!" My internal dialogue was a wee bit negative ...

Run 2: Back to my norm. Running late. Saturday night. I was determined to run for an hour, or at least stay on the treadmill for an hour, and walk as little as possible. Ouch. This hurt. About 2 miles in I had a pain in my side that wouldn't go away. I walked. I kept going. I watched the Bulls game. I love watching basketball while running. I think there's enough movement that I am a bit distracted. I listen to music at the gym, but it isn't always the magical distractor I want it to be. I need music AND people running back and forth on a TV 15 inches from my face, I guess. I felt a bit like I was running underwater or through honey or something. Slow. Painful. I made it 5.26 miles in 61:52, a pace of 11:45. How did I run a half marathon a year ago with a 10:15 pace? Self talk: "You're in a funk, Jamie. You're going to a bar after this. Cold beer. Food. Just last an hour." So, internal dialogue was a bit more positive. Anything is better than the last run's "incompetent" playing over and over in my head.

Run 3: After my 5 miler on Saturday night I went to the gym on Sunday evening to attempt an easy 3. I think tortillas are my nemesis. Several hours before my run had two breakfast-style tacos I made with eggs and salsa and I was carb zapped. This is a specific feeling I get when I eat carbs and then run later in the day. I try to be cautious of my carb intake when I know I'm running later, but I didn't think two small tortillas would induce carb zombie syndrome. I felt slight heartburn a general tightness in my chest. I couldn't get my breathing under control, this is rarely a problem for me. My legs felt a bit stronger, but I still felt as if I was trying to run while dragging weights behind me. And that 80 year old guy was back! He's so swift! Damn him! I'm 31! He's old .... reeeeallly old. I made it about 2.5 miles, then spent about 6 minutes on the bike and 6 minutes lifting weights. I attempted planks. I couldn't hold them for very long. I briefly hung my head and then went home.


So, three runs. I trudged, slowly.

At some point during this week I started thinking about college. I ran a mile at the gym once and was so thrilled with myself I almost fell off the treadmill when I was done. Then, I ran 20 minutes without stopping! I was astonished. I've come a long way since then. I've learned a lot. I've had highs and lows. I've had years of not running and years of running great distances. Running is hard. I'm battling right now. Let's hope good things can happen if I keep at it.

Not running.

So .... I ran 7 half marathons between November 2010 and October 2011. Then, I became a sloth. At first I felt a rest was needed. I had a slight pain behind my left knee that worried me and I knew taking a break would be the best thing for it. Then, other "things" got in the way ... Let's see, can I use the holidays as an excuse for being a sloth? Can I blame it on chilly weather? Work? Needing time to shut down a little and recharge? At the end of December I was looking forward to having two weeks off for a plethora of reasons, including having time to get to the gym. I prefer running inside in the winter and don't mind the treadmill at all. BUT. I don't think I went to the gym once during those two weeks. So, 2012 began. I hadn't worked out in 2 months. A new year! Fresh start! I don't tend to make New Year's resolutions, but I thought I'd get my act together and run.

At some point I signed up for another half in Chicago on April 1st. I calculated I would have plenty of time to train well (I tend to haphazardly train). I would set out a plan. I would cross-train. I'd run intervals. I'd do fartleks! I'd have these existential long runs where I would glide like a gazelle and conquer all despair, boredom, angst, and unexpected challenges that presented themselves. In other words, I would be superhuman runner Jamie.

That didn't exactly happen.

I thought about joining a gym within walking distance of my apartment. Maybe I'd get there more often? I checked it out and liked my current gym much better. I thought about signing up for some January/February 5K races. It's cold. I don't like cold. Why would I want to run outside in the cold and possible snow? I thought about making a schedule. I don't do schedules. I'm a zen runner. (Yes, I know this is semi crap and more excuse-making).

So, now it's March 6. I've run some. I made it 4 miles a couple of times. I've had a several 3 mile runs. I've lifted weights (twice?). I've pushed through that How-can-I-be-this-out-of-shape? feeling, although I've probably regained that feeling again at this point. And this weekend instead of working out Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday (day off work) like I wanted to, I sat . . . and slept. and ate. I had a burger the size of a small country. I had pizza twice. I think I had ice cream at some point. I drank beer. And I weighed myself this morning. I am two pounds shy of the most I've ever weighed as an adult. MY LIFE IS FLASHING BEFORE MY EYES. Ahhhhh.

Runner's World arrived this weekend and it's sitting on the table mocking me. I don't want to pick it up. All those people are runners. They are dedicated. They ACTUALLY RUN. I sit. I nap. I eat Cadbury eggs and Sweetarts. I am sloth-like.

I get emails constantly for races. Come run the Madison Mini Marathon! Run the Shamrock Shuffle! I can feel the emails secretly laughing at me. "Haha, you call yourself a runner! You feel like crap! You couldn't really run these races. Hahaha." Plus, it doesn't help that this past weekend was the one year anniversary of my half marathon PR in New York City. I had visions of breaking that record in April. I was going to work hard!

So, here I sit, knowing I'm not in the worst shape of my entire life, but not nearly as fit I was a year ago or as strong as I had hoped to be by March of 2012. I was sucked into the semi sedentary world of TV watching, snack eating, all day pijama wearing, and nap taking. Yes, all of those things are fine as long as I'm still running, but I haven't been. And I hate how it has made me feel.

Not running + sedentary lifestyle = I feel awful. Time to climb out of that hole. How do I do that?

One run at a time, I guess.

Dean Karnazes, author, all-night runner, superhuman

Inspiration on a Tuesday night.


From Ultramarathon Man:

All I need to do is to run from here to there. No ambiguity about it.

"We are at home in our games because it is the only place we know what we are supposed to do." Albert Camus

"We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; for he today that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother. He that outlives this day, and comes safe home, will stand a tiptoe above all others. Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot, but he'll remember, with advantages, what feats he did this day. The story shall the good man teach his son, and forever in their flowing cups will it be remembered; from this day to the ending of the world!" -Henry V

I'd simply put one foot in front of the other and not stop until the finish line. Hopefully.

"What counts in battle is what you do when the pain sets in." - John Short

Celebrate the pain.

"His place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." -Teddy Roosevelt

People who've let their own dreams die become pessimists and cynics.

"Bid me run and I will strive with things impossible." - Shakespeare, Julius Ceasar

If we could just free ourselves from our perceived limitations and tap into our internal fire, the possibilities are endless.


From RUN:

We are all living in cages, with the door wide open.

Monster Dash!

What a day. Miranda and I made to the start with NO TIME to spare. In fact, we peed in the bushes in Grant Park due to a line waaaaay too long ... At the start, dressed as a Walgreens' "sexy pirate lady" (no Luigi costumes left. I am a procrastinator), I felt worried and not exactly ready for this race. Knowing my knee would hurt worried me. Should I even be running this race? Will I do more damage?

The weather was perfect, a tad chilly at first, sunny, no wind. And we were off. I don't wear a watch and decided I didn't want to look at my phone to see my pace. I would just wing it. Start slow, see how I felt. I'm kind of a zen runner. I just go and try hard not to think of pace, even though I do know if I want to get faster I should probably get a watch and actually work on getting faster. The first couple of miles were OK. Miranda and I stayed together which was great, except for when people would say "GO MARIO" and not "GO SEXY PIRATE LADY." The course was a little sketchy, uneven, potholes, etc., but running along the lake was gorgeous. I hit my stride around mile 5, which always happens (thank god), and breezed through miles 6-9. At this point I changed my music from The Beatles, to hair metal. I love me some Motley Crue when I'm running.

I found myself surprised by how good I still felt. I ate a Stinger Waffle. I am in love with them now.

I've felt pretty awful for my last few 1/2s. Hot weather is simply hell for me, and SUNNY, hot weather crushes me. Running a half in Oct. is way way way way better than running a half in August and June. Lesson learned.

Miles 10 and 11 were a bit rough, but I knew I was closer with each step. I managed to finish strong, and as soon as I crossed the finish line and stopped running, my knee gave out and I almost fell to the ground (reminder: GO TO THE DOC). Bill and Zak, my marathoner friends, ran too and I met up with them and then Miranda joined us. I was never so happy in my life to see a cheese stick in the post race food bag. Mmmmmmmm. Miranda got a PR and I was so so happy for her. She's an inspiration!

Bill was a great blue man.


I reunited with a friend I hadn't seen for years who rocked the half. Way to go, Ashley!

Soon after we found beer.

I'm so happy Miranda came out for the race. I felt strong. I felt good. I had a blast with my good friends. Success. Thank you running gods :)

Time: 2:21:31. Better than my last. I'll take it.

7 half marathons in one year. Check!

I forgot something ..

As I was sitting here reading Meggie's blog I realized I had an amazing running experience that is too unforgettable not to mention. On Oct 9, 2011 I watched my first marathon. I ran the race in 2009, but have never actually cheered on runners during a marathon, or a half, for that matter. My coworker and good friend, Bill, and his boyfriend Zak were running and I was super charged to see them, cheer them on, and bring them pretzels . . Bill's one request. They trained with the Team to End AIDS, which is the group I trained with in 09 for the Chicago Marathon (then called the AIDS Marathon Training Program). I woke up early and took the train to the Addison stop on the red line, then walked to Addison and Broadway (between mile 7 and 8). It was a tad chilly, but bright and sunny, and I was super charged up to see the elite runners. Unsure if I was early enough, I ran until I saw no runners had passed yet. Phew! I needed to see those fast guys! I needed to see Ryan Hall! And see them I did. Wow, they are fast. I began cheering and didn't stop for 2 hours. I saw people with their names on their shirts and cheered for them by name. Their smiles and thumbs up were so exciting for me because I am pretty sure one of the main reasons I finished the race in 09 was because of all the people cheering for me. Hearing "GO JAMIE" on every street, in every neighborhood, over and over again never got old. Around the 4:30 pace I started looking for Bill and Zak. I was so worried they would be running on the other side of the street and I would be unable to give them their pretzels. After searching and searching for every runner with a red shirt, I finally recognized the runner right in front of my face as Zak! I called his name. He looked at me and screamed. Bill was right behind Zak. I hugged him, cheered, threw him pretzels, and told him he was amazing. What a relief. I didn't miss him.

At this point I thought about maybe heading back home, but I was hypnotized. BY EVERY RUNNER. I got teary. I saw large people, small people, fast people, slower people, older, younger. I called people's names and high-fived a few. I cried a little. I felt a deep appreciation for humanity and respect for people who work hard, fight, push themselves, and have audacious goals. I could see how life changing this race was for many, many of the runners and it overwhelmed me. Cheering and supporting complete strangers just felt so therapeutic, so purely good. I stayed until the end, when the police cars drove through, and then I stayed for a few more runners still pushing on behind the cars. It was enriching and I am glad I have finally felt the other side of a race.

Bill and Zak finished together at 4:48. They are marathoners now. Way to go, guys!

Things I haven't told you about ...

So, I ran the Chicago Half Marathon on 9/11/11. It was hot, not as hot as the black flagged 1/2 in Chicago in June, but still hot. I didn't really enjoy it that much. I just wanted to get it over with. Time: 2:24:36. Afterward, I felt good and appreciated the 9/11 commemorative touches, but it just felt a tad lonely and I didn't feel strong. There was a man standing in line with me to get my second medal (Chicago Challenge: running the 13.1 in June and the Chicago Half on 9/11). We stood and chatted a bit for about 15 minutes and as we neared the front of the line he just staggered randomly away from the line and then collapsed. I ran to get help and the man was sitting in a chair, coherent and with a medic when I walked away 5 minutes later. This just reminded me that what I have been doing is extremely strenuous and I need to listen to my body. I tend to minimize things, but completing 7 1/2 marathons in a year is a big deal (including the one I hope to finish tomorrow, Chicago Monster Dash, more on that later).

I need to get something checked out. I have a pain behind my right knee, on the inside side of my leg. It seems to be the tendon/ligament fleshy part back there. This has hurt for a few weeks and gives me a feeling of instability when I'm walking, but doesn't cause too many issues when I'm actually running. It does tighten up during long runs and remains sore for a few days following. I know I need to see a doctor. Any pain that lasts for longer than 2-3 days after a run should be checked out. I'm making a possibly stupid decision and running this race tomorrow and then making an appointment.

About the race tomorrow . . my wonderful friend Miranda is currently on a plane to Chicago to run this race with me. I can hardly contain my excitement! We started this journey together with the Monumental 1/2 in Indy last Nov. Her second trip east, coming from Boise, ID, means that the next trip is mine to make :) Is there a half in Las Vegas? CA? Washington? Oregon? We had planned to dress up as Mario and Luigi, but my procrastination has caused me to be costume-less still the day before the race. Let's hope the KMART I check this evening has what I need. I've been battling a cold and had a possible low grade fever last night. This isn't good, obviously. I don't expect to run quickly tomorrow. I just hope I don't wake up at 7am tomorrow with chills, body aches, etc.

Will report back from Chicago's Monster Dash. Then, I need to consider what's next, hopefully, not a long hiatus due to injury.

Dear Non Runner

Dear Non Runner,

Yes, sometimes I run for over 2 hours straight, just because, mainly because I can. I think about how many people out there can't do that and it makes me feel strong, like I can face all the other things in life that are worse than running for over 2 hours straight. Yes, it hurts. It always hurts, but I keep doing it.

I run for people who don't know I'm running for them. I run for my niece who has a physical disability. I run for my friend with lupus who lives in constant pain. I run for my 86 year old grandmother with severe arthritis. Running is a way for me to say thank you to God for blessing me with a strong, healthy body.

Running helps me forget and move forward. While running I can escape from my mind, my obsessions, my depression, my anger, my hurt, my loneliness, my indecision, my anxiety, my negative thoughts, my over analyzing, my what ifs, my unanswered questions. Not always, but often enough that it makes a difference.

I know you think it's crazy, running 5 1/2 marathons in 6 months, having to get up at 4 am on race day, running 10 miles on a treadmill, trying out an indoor 1/2 and actually enjoying running 48 laps in a circle without headphones. But I think you're crazy too. We're all crazy. I'm just crazy about running.

Signed:

The Runner

Changes. Progress.

So much. May and June have been rather nuts. Moving, finishing the school year, trying not to kill any students/coworkers, moving (it took me weeks to actually finish the move), preparing for school in Rouen, nap-taking . . you know, stressful things.


So, I ran the Soldier Field 10 miler as a training run before the June 13.1 in Chicago. The weather was great that day, overcast, slightly cool, not overly humid. We ran 5 miles south on Lake Shore and the lakefront path and 5 miles back north. Since KZoo was so awful, I tried to use this race to lift my spirits and prove to myself I could conquer it feeling strong. My mantra was "fight" for this race and I used that to keep the pace for the last 5. I tried to save myself and finish strong. I ran the whole thing, felt good and put KZoo behind me. And finishing on the field with my face on the jumbotron was pretty cool.

pace: 10:34
time: 1:45:47

All in all, it was a great race followed by seeing family in IN, drinking beer, eating oysters, steak, etc.


Then . . . a week later. Chicago 13.1 June 4, 2011. The day started with sunscreen, heat, sunshine, fear, and the promise of miles and miles of more of the same (sans sunscreen since it was all sweated off by mile .5). The weather said it would be 80+ and although that sounded hot to me, I had no idea by mile 1.5 I would feel like my skin was boiling off of my body. I thought I would be just charred bones running along by the end. It was so DAMN hot I thought my lungs were sucking in air from a steam room. At about mile 3 I thought . . "why am I running? there are people over there in little cars who could take me back to the start if I just moved over to the side and fell over . . even if I did it on purpose." I kept going. I walked the water stops. I alternated walking and running. Before the race I had had a random conversation with a man who told me he had won the Soldier Field 10 miler (he ended up winning the 13.1 too with a time of 01:09:50. Moses Waweru). He talked about selling cars in Madison, WI and asked about how I trained and what there was to do in Chicago after a race (I said eat pizza and drink beer). So, I was about 5.5 miles in when I saw him on his return. I thought . . WOW! I know him! We have something in common! We are runners in the same race! It's wonderful to remember how we are all mortals . . even those who run a mile in under 5 min. So, ice towels at mile 6.5 were glorious. I was drinking more water than I ever have during a race. I pitched my headphones because they were cumbersome and annoying and I needed all my mental energy to focus on the task at hand. I couldn't listen to anything; it was too distracting. Everyone walked. Even those people who looked like super top runners walked. Heat was the great equilizer. At mile 10 we got the word the race had been red-flagged (clocks stopped, no times). At mile 11 the word came the race was black-flagged (cops forced us to walk). At this point everyone just relaxed and checked on the people around them. I met a lovely woman who I ran the last mile with; we ignored the cops. It was nice to chat about the day, the challenge, the brutality of running in heat when you hadn't trained in it at all.

If my time was correct I finished in 2:42:36 with a pace of 12:31. Of the people who started, only129 officially finished before the clocks were stopped. I learned the next day that a 26 year old physical therapist was taken to the hospital and later died. That just seems incomprehensible to me, so sad. I also wondered how a person that age could run to the point, push themselves to the point where they would be taken to a hospital and die. So sad. And a reminder to always stop when it's too much.


Even with the challenge and not finishing "officially" this race was sorta zen and peaceful. I saw myself as a fighter along side fellow runners (I never used to consider myself a runner, even when I was running frequently). I saw that all races are different animals with unexpected twists and turns. I felt like .... DAMN it's nice to wake up before dawn and run a long race on a Saturday in my beautiful city.


I thought I'd feel relieved to finish what I consider my first season as a half marathon fanatic (5 since Nov), but I just wanted to run another : ) I'll have to wait until Sept. Sept 11 to be precise. Chicago once again. I'm already ready to tear it up!


Another example of my landslide of a mind shift . . . I ran a 10K last weekend and it was humid and semi-brutal but still felt short. 6.2=short. Ha. Hahaha. I love progress.

10K time: 1:03:45
pace: 10:15


Shout out to my amazing friend Miranda for finishing her second 1/2! Knocked off 9 min from her first. WAY TO GO!! I love traveling through this running adventure with you, my friend!

By the way, I'm writing this in the Dublin airport waiting for my flight to Paris. Let's see what the runs are like this summer in Rouen. I think I ran twice last summer .....

Kzoo destroyed me

Kalamazoo. Half. Marathon. May 8, 2011.

So, it's been a week. It seems longer than that. I wonder why.

This race killed me. It was by far the hardest of my 4 1/2s so far. The day started a bit cool, but sunny with temps climbing close to 60 before the race was over. I felt excited and nervous, like always. I don't think my head was in the race like it should have been. I wasn't using my normal thinking. I was seeing the whole race and not just 1 mile at a time. I was thinking PR! PR! Run faster than in NYC. Bad move.

I started out feeling good, but I had little idea what my pace was for the first 3 miles. I had my phone keeping track, but I didn't check it and I know it can be unreliable at times. At mile 3 I wanted to die. I had a pain in my chest and stomach cramps on each side of my midsection. My mind was screaming "WALK!" But it was only mile 3! At that point I threw out the PR dream and just decided I needed to finish. Just finish.

Things didn't get much better. The chest pain subsided some, but the stomach cramps stayed most of the race. Everything was driving me nuts. The shirt I was wearing didn't fit right. The sun was too bright. I didn't have sunglasses. My shoe laces felt too tight. I couldn't even enjoy my music because I was annoyed by everything. I walked some. The only thing I enjoyed was the feel of the wind hitting me. I tried to concentrate on that. "The wind feels good, the wind feels good." At mile 10 I sent my Dad a text that said "Kill me now." During the last mile there was a pretty intense hill and a man screaming, "You are stronger than this hill." I loved hearing that. It also made me think, "I am stronger than this race." I will finish this race. This race will not beat me. I never actually considered I would have to drop out of the race, but it did feel like the race was beating the hell out of me most of the time. I felt chewed up and spat out and stepped on.

So, I finished with a little kick at the end, found my Mom waiting for me, and enjoyed lying on the soft green spring grass for awhile. Needless to say, I was glad it was over. And after looking back at my pace I saw that what had happened was I ran with the speed of possessed demon for the first 3 miles. TOOOOO FAST! This is probably because the last 2 5Ks I have run I've just gunned it and maybe I was used to being faster, but I failed to remember one of the first running lessons I had ever learned . . start slow. This race was not a 5K. Oops. Lessen learned . . again.

My time was amazingly only a couple minutes slower than in NYC. 2:17:48. pace: 10:31


After this race I felt a pretty extreme let down too, and not because it was a hard race and I didn't feel as strong as I had wanted. I just felt down. I felt kind of empty. I think some of this is because I always run these races alone (except Indy). Even though my parents are super supportive it still would be nice to run with people who know exactly what the race feels like. I'm trying to cultivate more running friendships . . more on that later. I also will be doing my best to run a race with the remarkable Miranda McDannel this fall!

So, I fought Kzoo . . and I won (barely). Good lessons learned. Moving forward.

Holy Monday Night.

Bad runs. Awful runs. That has been the story for a week or so. And I have the Kalamazoo 1/2 this weekend and I was nervous. I tried to run 10 on Sunday night and made it less than 3. Instead of getting too down on myself I just decided I'd try again on Monday. I've been reading Kara Goucher's Running for Women and I have enjoyed it so far. As she advises in the book, I said to myself out loud on the way to the gym, "Tonight I will run 30 min and see how I feel." (Knowing I'd try for more if I could). Saying this out loud made it more real and not just an idea in my head. I like that. Other things I should say at times: "Tonight I will run for 20 minutes only." "Today I will get out and have a fun run." Declaring what I intend to do seems motivating for me.

So, I made it 30 minutes and kept going. Here are my stats for the first 5:

Time: 55:01
Pace: 10:59
Calories: 656

The first 5 miles were not easy. It always seems mile 3-5 are killer for me, but I powered through, then got off the treadmill, went to the bathroom, ate a Gu gel, had some water and got back on . . .

My second 5 miles were easier than the first. I was listening to some old school Fall Out Boy which I haven't heard in a long time and it totally carried me through the first 3 miles.  After that I watched the Lakers game. I love basketball games when I run at the gym. I've kind of become a Lakers fan since their games are on late when I'm at the gym. The last 2 miles were a bit more challenging, and for the last 1/2 mile I was saying the word "fight" to myself (maybe even audibly, I'm not sure).

Second 5:

Time: 53:33
Pace: 10:42/mile
Calories: 654

So, I ran the second 5 faster than the first, but the coolest part was looking back at the 10 miles I did before the NYC 1/2. I ran the first 5 with a 11:04 pace and the second 5 with a 11:25 pace. I ran last night's 10 faster which makes me SUPER happy. I ended up running NYC in 2:15 and I don't want to get my hopes up, but maybe Kalamazoo will be faster. Although I know a bunch of things could possibly get in the way on race day: rest, weather, hydration, heat, stress, etc.

Lesson learned: running 10 miles from 9-11pm at night makes getting to work on time the next day close to impossible. I was 40 min late today. I am sort of feigning an illness, when really I just have a running "hangover." Waaaaaaay better than a real hangover (or a real illness).

Spring Break

4 runs this week. Wow. wow. wow. Good things. I started the week off with The Race to Wrigley where I managed to run a 9:27 pace (PR!!) which shocked me. I was sick so it made sense that I wanted the race to be over quickly. I didn't actually think the time was correct.

Took a couple of days off to relax and hopefully get over this cough and cold. On Wednesday I ran another 5K at the gym and rowed for 15 minutes afterward. Thursday I ran an hour and made it 5.38 miles. I was extremely happy with that . . thinking about how the Kalamazoo 1/2 in about 2 weeks and I need to cover miles. 5.38 is moving in the right direction. My cold wasn't gone and I definitely felt it in my lungs, but I powered through.

Then yesterday I ran the Race for the Cheetah at Montrose Harbor. It was a gorgeous day, running a long the lake, cool breeze, sun peaking through the clouds, felt like spring . . . ran the first mile at a 9:00 pace and finished in 28:35 at 9:13/mile (new PR!!). I DIDN'T think it was EVEN POSSIBLE for me to run that quickly. I am thrilled.

And this week a book really helped me understand a few things about running I hadn't considered in depth before. Ultramarathon Man, Confessions of an All-Night Runner by Dean Karnazes. I'm going to post some of the ideas and quotes in my next post that resonated with me. The funny thing is that I've owned that book for over a year and hadn't read it yet. I picked it up on Monday and read it in a day.

I also got new shoes. It was an eventful runner's week. I'm happy.

Cold.

I have a chest cold, but made it 3 miles last night. Here are the stats:

32:50
3.01
10:54/mile

I definitely felt it in my lungs, but tried to pick up the pace a couple of times. My legs felt strong though and that helped. I have a 5K this weekend and I hope the cold/congestion is better by then. Even with a slight cold I am zapped of energy during runs. It felt good to get back into it again though.

Here we go . .

So, I was thinking about signing up for a race in Minneapolis but then figured in the cost of the race, travel, a place to stay, etc., and decided to just sign up for the 13.1 in Chicago on June 4th. BUT! Then they tempted me with this Chicago Challenge idea. The challenge? Run another half Sept 11. Not too bad as challenges go. One in June and one in Sept. That's my habit these days anyway. Now if it would have been run a half June 4 AND then 5 (how you folks did the Goofy Challenge is BEYOND my grasp :) ) well, that would be a true challenge, but I can dig a June/Sept challenge. So, I now have three 1/2s scheduled (Kalamazoo May 8th, 13.1 in Chicago June 4th, and the Chicago Half Sept. 11). Also I have 2 5Ks, one next weekend and another in May to support brain cancer and a friend who lost her brother-in-law to the disease.

My biggest fear when thinking of these races . . the Devil Sun. The sun is my nemesis as a runner and on June 4 it's bound to be an issue. I'd rather run a 1/2 in the middle of the night than run with the sun hitting me. Odd considering how much I adore the sun the rest of the time. Seriously, as a runner, sunshine seems to be my kryptonite. Can I change this?