One Run at a Time

Since my last post I've run three times.

Run 1: I thought switching up my normal run time would help me break out of my lethargy a bit. So, I ran after work instead of at night. I found it jarring and annoying. There are so many people at the gym at 5:30 pm! There's light streaming in! I love the solitude of being at the gym between the hours of 9-11pm. And I suppose I like the darkness or at least I'm very accustomed it, considering the fact that I am so very annoyed at seeing light in the sky. I wallowed in this run, telling myself I was shamefully lacking strength, stamina, endurance. I walked a little. I hate walking. Defeat! By the end I trudged through 3.05 miles with a pace of 11:51. I was annoyed with everything. My hair in my face. Underwear riding up. Lack of any air movement in the gym. So many people working out around me. Some 80 year old man next to me running like the wind while I felt like I was going in slow motion. "You incompetent sloth!" My internal dialogue was a wee bit negative ...

Run 2: Back to my norm. Running late. Saturday night. I was determined to run for an hour, or at least stay on the treadmill for an hour, and walk as little as possible. Ouch. This hurt. About 2 miles in I had a pain in my side that wouldn't go away. I walked. I kept going. I watched the Bulls game. I love watching basketball while running. I think there's enough movement that I am a bit distracted. I listen to music at the gym, but it isn't always the magical distractor I want it to be. I need music AND people running back and forth on a TV 15 inches from my face, I guess. I felt a bit like I was running underwater or through honey or something. Slow. Painful. I made it 5.26 miles in 61:52, a pace of 11:45. How did I run a half marathon a year ago with a 10:15 pace? Self talk: "You're in a funk, Jamie. You're going to a bar after this. Cold beer. Food. Just last an hour." So, internal dialogue was a bit more positive. Anything is better than the last run's "incompetent" playing over and over in my head.

Run 3: After my 5 miler on Saturday night I went to the gym on Sunday evening to attempt an easy 3. I think tortillas are my nemesis. Several hours before my run had two breakfast-style tacos I made with eggs and salsa and I was carb zapped. This is a specific feeling I get when I eat carbs and then run later in the day. I try to be cautious of my carb intake when I know I'm running later, but I didn't think two small tortillas would induce carb zombie syndrome. I felt slight heartburn a general tightness in my chest. I couldn't get my breathing under control, this is rarely a problem for me. My legs felt a bit stronger, but I still felt as if I was trying to run while dragging weights behind me. And that 80 year old guy was back! He's so swift! Damn him! I'm 31! He's old .... reeeeallly old. I made it about 2.5 miles, then spent about 6 minutes on the bike and 6 minutes lifting weights. I attempted planks. I couldn't hold them for very long. I briefly hung my head and then went home.


So, three runs. I trudged, slowly.

At some point during this week I started thinking about college. I ran a mile at the gym once and was so thrilled with myself I almost fell off the treadmill when I was done. Then, I ran 20 minutes without stopping! I was astonished. I've come a long way since then. I've learned a lot. I've had highs and lows. I've had years of not running and years of running great distances. Running is hard. I'm battling right now. Let's hope good things can happen if I keep at it.