The Big Apple . .

NEW YORK. NEW YORK.

So, this race was amazing. Brilliant. Chilly in the AM, warm and sunny by the finish. 8 miles in Central Park. Then Times Square. Finish in Battery Park. See the Statue of Liberty just past the finish. The whole trip was epic and much needed. Spent a day at the Guggenheim and The Whitney. Sparks Steakhouse and the best steak of my life. Out drinking beers with my Dad until 2am two nights before the race. Extreme fear and mild panic the day before the race. Then I ran faster than I've ever ran before. 10:21 pace. Finished in 2:15:32 (I think). This AMAZED me. My Indy pace was 11:01 in Nov. I rocked those hills in CP because I kept thinking . . if I run FAST this damn hill will be over faster. And I was right. My Dad saw me at mile 2 and mile 8 and then again at the finish. After the race we ate another beyond words dinner at Babbo (4 1/2 hours of food and wine). New York is so familiar and comfortable to me, kinda like coming home in a way. It's because I've traveled to NYC more times than I've traveled anywhere else in my life. It smells the same, feels the same, and I take comfort that it probably always will. So, I was amazed, happy, proud and relieved after the race. I love NYC.

I'm now better at not feeling like shit after I finish a race. And I don't mean physically, I mean mentally. I find ways to make myself feel like shit . . for not running harder or faster or for not training as much as I should have. I feel proud about a race for about 36 hours before I find something to judge negatively. BUT! I'm getting better at this. (kinda).

Now it's back to Jamie the lazy non-runner. I've had a couple of lame, lackluster runs lately and another half is around the corner (May 8, Kalamazoo). I desperately (sometimes) want to be one of those super motivated people who runs before work or who commits to a running schedule for the week. I can't do that. So, now I have 4 weeks to try to get better, but I'm not even in good shape now since I directed a musical that was in production and didn't run at all. Running is supposed to make me feel good, but I spend way too much time feeling shitty about it. Why is that??

As someone said in Runner's World this month . . "don't think, just run. when in doubt, just lace up your shoes and run." or something like that ... and yes, I agree, but my head still gets in the way sometimes.