So, I ran a marathon last year. People tend to think that means I am currently in shape. Ha. Hahaha. I often hear, "well, you can't be in that bad of shape if you finished a marathon last year." I understand this could be true to a certain degree. I'm obviously probably not obese or extremely overweight. I most likely learned a great deal about fitness, my body, nutrition, etc. from that experience. Yes. I don't eat fast food daily. I go to the gym from time to time. I love to drink water. I yell at my Dad when I think he should be working out more. I tell people to eat more vegetables. I would rather eat eggplant than potatoes. I love low sodium V8. So, I make healthy choices, most of the time. THAT does not necessarily mean I am in shape, the kind of shape I would like to be.
A couple of months ago I mentioned on Facebook I would like to run a 1/2 marathon in Indianapolis this fall. This sounded like a good idea while I was in France, eating baguettes, drinking wine, and consuming mass quantities of cheese. My wonderful friend Miranda decided to join me. She lives in Boise, ID and has already started training. I have been inspired my her blog, documenting her ups and downs, her commitment. By inspired I mean I think it's awesome and it's making me think I really need to get off my butt, but I haven't actually gotten off of my butt yet. Nope. Nothing. I went for some bike rides this week and they were relatively long and I felt good, breathing hard, working the legs, BUT . . as for running . . nothing. I think I might have even told people I've started running. It's a lie. I'm sorry. I felt the lie leave my mouth and knew it was sad.
You see, I've always wanted to be an athlete. My brother was an athlete growing up, my Dad was an athlete too and I always felt a little inadequate for not being one. As a kid I remember when the track coach thought I would be good since my brother was a phenom. I wasn't. I wasn't even mediocre. I hated running. I was terrible at track. I quit in 8th grade to volunteer as a peer tutor after school instead. I was terrible at soccer. I recall coaches shouting "be aggressive" when I was afraid of the ball. I was cut from the 8th grade volleyball team when all of my friends made it. I did other things instead of sports. I excelled. My parents never cared that I wasn't an athlete. My childhood scars from this are small. But I always wished I could have been competitive, aggressive, physically strong. I wanted to be an athlete. I wanted to be good. I just wasn't. And I wasn't one of those inspiring, Rudy-type kids who are terrible, but have the heart to work hard and do their best. I just wanted to go home and watch TV most days after school. The weird thing is people always think I'm an athlete. It's the large calves and broad shoulders I have, I think. Thanks, genetics.
So, time passed and eventually, I ran a 5 mile race in my hometown in 2005 and my Dad told me I was the family athlete now. That was nice. (It's not really true, my brother does triathlons now. Good job, Jeff!) Then after many experiences and for many reasons I ran the Chicago Marathon in 2009. It's a long story, but that ended up being much more bittersweet than positive. As messed up as this sounds, I'm still learning how to feel proud about that experience. If you ever want to know why, just ask.
BUT THAT WAS LAST YEAR. It's August 2010 now. After a marathon some people can't wait to run their next race or get their new pair of shoes or train for something else. I, on the other hand, didn't run for months. I ate pizza. I think I've gone running maybe 5 times since that race. If I'm going to be anything here it's going to be honest. So, I don't run anymore. I look at Runner's World covers on my end table and feel out of shape, sad, tired, fat, blah.
So, Miranda and I are running this 1/2 marathon in November. This blog is a strictly selfish way (aren't most blogs pretty selfish, anyway?) to monitor my thoughts and progress as I try to train for this. Stay tuned . .
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