PR on a Thursday night

I tried out an evening 5K this week for the first time, the Jim Gibbons Leukemia Research 5K. I don't always do well in the evening when it comes to running. This is prime nap time in my life, so, I wondered if I would be sluggish. I had new awesome shoes though: Brooks PureConnect. They make me feel pretty badass. I've been running in Vibrams lately and love them, but I don't think I want to run 26.2 in them this fall, and my other shoes are just too cushioned. I feel like I'm running on a cloud and I don't like it. I love how connected to the ground I feel in Vibrams and the Brooks give me a similar feeling. And they look freakin' cool.

Anyway, I don't like 5K much. They hurt. I tend to run like a bat out of hell (for me that's anything in the 8:15-9:15 pace range). I feel the need to run almost as fast as I can since it's such a short distance. The problem is I'm not good at keep that pace for longer than 1.5 more or so. I get that far and start thinking, "I hate this. This is hard. This sucks." I also have an issue with my right hip right now and I'm sore all the time. That didn't help. I forgot my headphones too and I hate hearing people huff and puff while running. It just annoys me and makes me anxious for some reason.

I walked a water stop, which annoyed me, but I needed to. I walked again at another point. I thought, "It's only 3.1 miles, why am I walking??"I was annoyed with myself. It was just hot and muggy and I was going fast and didn't feel that well. So, 30 seconds of walking helped a little.

I picked it up even faster the last 200 meters or so. I had a chance at being under 28:30. I wasn't sure what my PR was, but I was fairly sure it was near that time.

So, the race ended. I had a beer, listened to some cover band play Matchbox 20 songs, and made my way home.

This morning I saw the results: PR by 3 seconds. Awesome! 28:30! 9:11 pace. Cool. I was 22 out of 66 in my age group. Anytime I'm not in the bottom half of my age group I'm pretty thrilled.

Cool. First PR in anything in over a year. Rock on!

Unbelievably cool running experience

My 5th grade student, Timmy, asked me run a race with him. He asked in some frigid month and the race was in May. I recall thinking: "This is months away. Sounds good. Let's do it." So, I signed up. Timmy is 10. Timmy wanted to run the Solider Field 10 miler. Little did I know this would end up being one of the absolute coolest running experiences I've ever had. I thought maybe he'd be super slow or super fast and then super slow. I thought he may walk. He's 10 after all. WHAT 10 YEAR OLD RUNS 10 MILES??

The answer: THIS KID. 

We met at the start line, in corral 13. Timmy was also running with his Dad, Mike. We waited, an electric storm passed just to the north, the anxiety crept into my hands, where I always feel it the most. I wasn't exactly ready for 10 miles. I was supposed to run 6 that morning and 10 seemed far. 

Timmy, Mike, and I stayed together for the first mile, then, Mike veered off to wait in line for the restroom. Timmy and I continued for the next 5 or so on our own.

This kid is amazing. Our pace was around 10:30 most of those early miles and at mile 6 I asked how he was feeling. He said he "great" and it didn't appear he had even broken a sweat. People saw us and commented, "Wow, way to go kid!", "You're going to by an Olympian, kid." It was like running with a celebrity. Timmy commented on how comfortable and similar our paces were. He said we should run more races together and I said absolutely. I did tell him he would need to stop growing up though. He was going to get better and better, and probably dramatically faster. I, on the other hand, would most likely not be a drastically different runner in a year. 

He would check in with me. "How are you feeling, Ms. Perry?" What a cool kid.

We listened to our music and at times I thought he was talking to me and then I realized he was singing along to his favorite songs.

We saw a guy head for the trees and Timmy asked where he was going. I had to explain nature called. 

Mike caught up with us and we finished strong, Timmy sprinting the final 50 yards on Solider Field. This was the first time he had ever run 10 miles in his life. 

I have been told this was nice of me, to run with one of my students. I think it's the other way around though. I think it was nice of Timmy to invite me to run with him. Most kids shutter at the thought of seeing teachers outside of the building. Timmy knew I was a runner and wanted to run with me. How cool is that?! It was a true honor to see a kid so brilliantly complete a distance I didn't run until I was 28 years old. 

He is one of those people I look up to because of his joy for running. I have those moments sometimes, but often they are few and far between. Timmy and I just ran, for the fun of it, and it wasn't easy for him or me. We both had moments of pain and discomfort, but that's often the most joyous part ....  fighting until you cross the finish line. 

One more thing. Timmy was the youngest person to run this race. He was the ONLY 10 year old. So, I did run with a celebrity. Wow. 

The running ROCK STAR, Timmy, with me and his Dad.

Day One.

The Chicago Marathon. 151 days, 11 hours, 30 minutes, and 31 seconds ....

I will be running again this year. My first, and only marathon, was running Chicago in 2009. And beyond the physical lessons learned, I learned A LOT about how I view myself, as a runner, and as a human in general. I think I've come a long way in three years. Three years ago I didn't call myself a "runner". Even after completing the marathon I didn't always think I qualified as a runner. It took 7 half marathons and a spattering of 5Ks, a 10K, and a 10 mile race, to teach me that yes, I am a runner, and I was a runner back in 2009 too. I didn't train very well in 09 and I think that guilt, coupled with my slow time made me feel like a failure .... even though I ran the race. I've learned a lot. We are all runners. The friend who gets out there to go one mile doing a run/walk is a runner. The friend who is completing an ultra is a runner. And everyone in between. Slow, fast, if you cross the start line and cross the finish, even if you're crawling, you are a runner. I had some work to do on my confidence, and yes, perhaps I'm still working on it, but completing a marathon and then feeling like a total failure afterwards, even when receiving nothing but support from my friends and loved ones, taught me a great deal about myself.

So, it's 2012 and I'm doing it again. I was so excited on Saturday morning for day one of training. I'm running with The Team to End AIDS (T2) and will be raising money for the Chicago AIDS Foundation. This is the same program I trained with in 2009. Day one dawned foggy and damp, with intermittent drizzles. We run at 7am on Saturday mornings and even though I can't get out of bed early on a work day to save my life, I was on my feet, caffeinated, and ready to go by 6:30.


On day one we run 3 miles to determine our pace groups. Last time I was in the Alberto Salazar group (3 mile time between 31:31-33:00). This year I am in the Kara Goucher group (I LOVE HER!!), (3 mile time between 28:31-30:00.) Improvement! I like improvement!

I love this list of greats.

It felt a bit like coming home again to run on the lakefront path that early in the morning. I don't do that if I'm not running with a training group. I like sleep too much to get out of bed. I love the people of all ages, all ethnicities, all sizes, while hearing the cars on Lake Shore, passing familiar intersections and landmarks, and seeing the lake in all of its moods. It feels like Chicago woke up from a long winter nap (even though this winter wasn't actually long), and is ready to attack the pavement all spring, summer, and fall.

After three miles I met my pace group briefly and we took a day one photo (will be shared in a future post). I'm looking forward to Saturday runs with these people I know nothing about. We'll support each other, laugh, bitch, swear, tell stories, and get each other through long runs in all kinds of weather. I recall a brutal 12 miler in 2009 that nearly killed me due to heat and lack of salt consumption. My pace group friend had me envision my power animal. I couldn't decide on which animal ... bear? sloth? black cat? Thoughts?

More to come. I'll keep you posted.

Channeling the barefoot gods.

So, I bought Vibrams awhile ago, but have only run in them a few times. Once I went out for an easy 3 miles in them and could hardly walk the next day. It was clear I was using different muscles while running in 5 Fingers. A constant thought I have right now about my running is that I need to find the joy. Be more positive. I need to not stalk the next PR or the next super fast mile. I need to just run because I love what it has done in my life. I need to just be. Just run. It's OK if I'm not in the shape I was a year ago. Just run. It's OK if I'm not running races right now. Just run. So many runs lately have felt empty, difficult, negative. I'm thinking "I'm not this or that." "I'm not training like I should." "I suck at this." But this Thursday's 3 miler in my Vibrams brought back the joy I needed. First of all, I love barefoot running. I feel strong, swift. I think "tred lightly", and feel as if I actually am.

Time: 32:41
Distance: 3.01
Average Speed: 5:52
Pace: 10:52

I felt a sense of "YES" during this run, not "why didn't you run 4 miles?" or something similar. I need to get back to the basics, back to the days when I was astonished I could run a mile without stopping (sophomore year in college). Running makes me feel good and when it starts to do the opposite I need to remember each run counts, each run makes me stronger. 3 miles is good. It's not 4 or 8 or 10 or whatever, but it's good. Running twice a week isn't optimal, but it's still good.

And leave it at that. The barefoot gods pulled me along and I may stay and hang out with them for awhile.

a struggle or fight.

This word helped me accomplish 5.26 on Saturday. It may have a semi-permanent home on my hand for awhile.

One Run at a Time

Since my last post I've run three times.

Run 1: I thought switching up my normal run time would help me break out of my lethargy a bit. So, I ran after work instead of at night. I found it jarring and annoying. There are so many people at the gym at 5:30 pm! There's light streaming in! I love the solitude of being at the gym between the hours of 9-11pm. And I suppose I like the darkness or at least I'm very accustomed it, considering the fact that I am so very annoyed at seeing light in the sky. I wallowed in this run, telling myself I was shamefully lacking strength, stamina, endurance. I walked a little. I hate walking. Defeat! By the end I trudged through 3.05 miles with a pace of 11:51. I was annoyed with everything. My hair in my face. Underwear riding up. Lack of any air movement in the gym. So many people working out around me. Some 80 year old man next to me running like the wind while I felt like I was going in slow motion. "You incompetent sloth!" My internal dialogue was a wee bit negative ...

Run 2: Back to my norm. Running late. Saturday night. I was determined to run for an hour, or at least stay on the treadmill for an hour, and walk as little as possible. Ouch. This hurt. About 2 miles in I had a pain in my side that wouldn't go away. I walked. I kept going. I watched the Bulls game. I love watching basketball while running. I think there's enough movement that I am a bit distracted. I listen to music at the gym, but it isn't always the magical distractor I want it to be. I need music AND people running back and forth on a TV 15 inches from my face, I guess. I felt a bit like I was running underwater or through honey or something. Slow. Painful. I made it 5.26 miles in 61:52, a pace of 11:45. How did I run a half marathon a year ago with a 10:15 pace? Self talk: "You're in a funk, Jamie. You're going to a bar after this. Cold beer. Food. Just last an hour." So, internal dialogue was a bit more positive. Anything is better than the last run's "incompetent" playing over and over in my head.

Run 3: After my 5 miler on Saturday night I went to the gym on Sunday evening to attempt an easy 3. I think tortillas are my nemesis. Several hours before my run had two breakfast-style tacos I made with eggs and salsa and I was carb zapped. This is a specific feeling I get when I eat carbs and then run later in the day. I try to be cautious of my carb intake when I know I'm running later, but I didn't think two small tortillas would induce carb zombie syndrome. I felt slight heartburn a general tightness in my chest. I couldn't get my breathing under control, this is rarely a problem for me. My legs felt a bit stronger, but I still felt as if I was trying to run while dragging weights behind me. And that 80 year old guy was back! He's so swift! Damn him! I'm 31! He's old .... reeeeallly old. I made it about 2.5 miles, then spent about 6 minutes on the bike and 6 minutes lifting weights. I attempted planks. I couldn't hold them for very long. I briefly hung my head and then went home.


So, three runs. I trudged, slowly.

At some point during this week I started thinking about college. I ran a mile at the gym once and was so thrilled with myself I almost fell off the treadmill when I was done. Then, I ran 20 minutes without stopping! I was astonished. I've come a long way since then. I've learned a lot. I've had highs and lows. I've had years of not running and years of running great distances. Running is hard. I'm battling right now. Let's hope good things can happen if I keep at it.

Not running.

So .... I ran 7 half marathons between November 2010 and October 2011. Then, I became a sloth. At first I felt a rest was needed. I had a slight pain behind my left knee that worried me and I knew taking a break would be the best thing for it. Then, other "things" got in the way ... Let's see, can I use the holidays as an excuse for being a sloth? Can I blame it on chilly weather? Work? Needing time to shut down a little and recharge? At the end of December I was looking forward to having two weeks off for a plethora of reasons, including having time to get to the gym. I prefer running inside in the winter and don't mind the treadmill at all. BUT. I don't think I went to the gym once during those two weeks. So, 2012 began. I hadn't worked out in 2 months. A new year! Fresh start! I don't tend to make New Year's resolutions, but I thought I'd get my act together and run.

At some point I signed up for another half in Chicago on April 1st. I calculated I would have plenty of time to train well (I tend to haphazardly train). I would set out a plan. I would cross-train. I'd run intervals. I'd do fartleks! I'd have these existential long runs where I would glide like a gazelle and conquer all despair, boredom, angst, and unexpected challenges that presented themselves. In other words, I would be superhuman runner Jamie.

That didn't exactly happen.

I thought about joining a gym within walking distance of my apartment. Maybe I'd get there more often? I checked it out and liked my current gym much better. I thought about signing up for some January/February 5K races. It's cold. I don't like cold. Why would I want to run outside in the cold and possible snow? I thought about making a schedule. I don't do schedules. I'm a zen runner. (Yes, I know this is semi crap and more excuse-making).

So, now it's March 6. I've run some. I made it 4 miles a couple of times. I've had a several 3 mile runs. I've lifted weights (twice?). I've pushed through that How-can-I-be-this-out-of-shape? feeling, although I've probably regained that feeling again at this point. And this weekend instead of working out Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday (day off work) like I wanted to, I sat . . . and slept. and ate. I had a burger the size of a small country. I had pizza twice. I think I had ice cream at some point. I drank beer. And I weighed myself this morning. I am two pounds shy of the most I've ever weighed as an adult. MY LIFE IS FLASHING BEFORE MY EYES. Ahhhhh.

Runner's World arrived this weekend and it's sitting on the table mocking me. I don't want to pick it up. All those people are runners. They are dedicated. They ACTUALLY RUN. I sit. I nap. I eat Cadbury eggs and Sweetarts. I am sloth-like.

I get emails constantly for races. Come run the Madison Mini Marathon! Run the Shamrock Shuffle! I can feel the emails secretly laughing at me. "Haha, you call yourself a runner! You feel like crap! You couldn't really run these races. Hahaha." Plus, it doesn't help that this past weekend was the one year anniversary of my half marathon PR in New York City. I had visions of breaking that record in April. I was going to work hard!

So, here I sit, knowing I'm not in the worst shape of my entire life, but not nearly as fit I was a year ago or as strong as I had hoped to be by March of 2012. I was sucked into the semi sedentary world of TV watching, snack eating, all day pijama wearing, and nap taking. Yes, all of those things are fine as long as I'm still running, but I haven't been. And I hate how it has made me feel.

Not running + sedentary lifestyle = I feel awful. Time to climb out of that hole. How do I do that?

One run at a time, I guess.