This word helped me accomplish 5.26 on Saturday. It may have a semi-permanent home on my hand for awhile.
Monday, March 12, 2012
a struggle or fight.
This word helped me accomplish 5.26 on Saturday. It may have a semi-permanent home on my hand for awhile.
One Run at a Time
Since my last post I've run three times.
Run 1: I thought switching up my normal run time would help me break out of my lethargy a bit. So, I ran after work instead of at night. I found it jarring and annoying. There are so many people at the gym at 5:30 pm! There's light streaming in! I love the solitude of being at the gym between the hours of 9-11pm. And I suppose I like the darkness or at least I'm very accustomed it, considering the fact that I am so very annoyed at seeing light in the sky. I wallowed in this run, telling myself I was shamefully lacking strength, stamina, endurance. I walked a little. I hate walking. Defeat! By the end I trudged through 3.05 miles with a pace of 11:51. I was annoyed with everything. My hair in my face. Underwear riding up. Lack of any air movement in the gym. So many people working out around me. Some 80 year old man next to me running like the wind while I felt like I was going in slow motion. "You incompetent sloth!" My internal dialogue was a wee bit negative ...
Run 2: Back to my norm. Running late. Saturday night. I was determined to run for an hour, or at least stay on the treadmill for an hour, and walk as little as possible. Ouch. This hurt. About 2 miles in I had a pain in my side that wouldn't go away. I walked. I kept going. I watched the Bulls game. I love watching basketball while running. I think there's enough movement that I am a bit distracted. I listen to music at the gym, but it isn't always the magical distractor I want it to be. I need music AND people running back and forth on a TV 15 inches from my face, I guess. I felt a bit like I was running underwater or through honey or something. Slow. Painful. I made it 5.26 miles in 61:52, a pace of 11:45. How did I run a half marathon a year ago with a 10:15 pace? Self talk: "You're in a funk, Jamie. You're going to a bar after this. Cold beer. Food. Just last an hour." So, internal dialogue was a bit more positive. Anything is better than the last run's "incompetent" playing over and over in my head.
Run 3: After my 5 miler on Saturday night I went to the gym on Sunday evening to attempt an easy 3. I think tortillas are my nemesis. Several hours before my run had two breakfast-style tacos I made with eggs and salsa and I was carb zapped. This is a specific feeling I get when I eat carbs and then run later in the day. I try to be cautious of my carb intake when I know I'm running later, but I didn't think two small tortillas would induce carb zombie syndrome. I felt slight heartburn a general tightness in my chest. I couldn't get my breathing under control, this is rarely a problem for me. My legs felt a bit stronger, but I still felt as if I was trying to run while dragging weights behind me. And that 80 year old guy was back! He's so swift! Damn him! I'm 31! He's old .... reeeeallly old. I made it about 2.5 miles, then spent about 6 minutes on the bike and 6 minutes lifting weights. I attempted planks. I couldn't hold them for very long. I briefly hung my head and then went home.
So, three runs. I trudged, slowly.
At some point during this week I started thinking about college. I ran a mile at the gym once and was so thrilled with myself I almost fell off the treadmill when I was done. Then, I ran 20 minutes without stopping! I was astonished. I've come a long way since then. I've learned a lot. I've had highs and lows. I've had years of not running and years of running great distances. Running is hard. I'm battling right now. Let's hope good things can happen if I keep at it.
Run 1: I thought switching up my normal run time would help me break out of my lethargy a bit. So, I ran after work instead of at night. I found it jarring and annoying. There are so many people at the gym at 5:30 pm! There's light streaming in! I love the solitude of being at the gym between the hours of 9-11pm. And I suppose I like the darkness or at least I'm very accustomed it, considering the fact that I am so very annoyed at seeing light in the sky. I wallowed in this run, telling myself I was shamefully lacking strength, stamina, endurance. I walked a little. I hate walking. Defeat! By the end I trudged through 3.05 miles with a pace of 11:51. I was annoyed with everything. My hair in my face. Underwear riding up. Lack of any air movement in the gym. So many people working out around me. Some 80 year old man next to me running like the wind while I felt like I was going in slow motion. "You incompetent sloth!" My internal dialogue was a wee bit negative ...
Run 2: Back to my norm. Running late. Saturday night. I was determined to run for an hour, or at least stay on the treadmill for an hour, and walk as little as possible. Ouch. This hurt. About 2 miles in I had a pain in my side that wouldn't go away. I walked. I kept going. I watched the Bulls game. I love watching basketball while running. I think there's enough movement that I am a bit distracted. I listen to music at the gym, but it isn't always the magical distractor I want it to be. I need music AND people running back and forth on a TV 15 inches from my face, I guess. I felt a bit like I was running underwater or through honey or something. Slow. Painful. I made it 5.26 miles in 61:52, a pace of 11:45. How did I run a half marathon a year ago with a 10:15 pace? Self talk: "You're in a funk, Jamie. You're going to a bar after this. Cold beer. Food. Just last an hour." So, internal dialogue was a bit more positive. Anything is better than the last run's "incompetent" playing over and over in my head.
Run 3: After my 5 miler on Saturday night I went to the gym on Sunday evening to attempt an easy 3. I think tortillas are my nemesis. Several hours before my run had two breakfast-style tacos I made with eggs and salsa and I was carb zapped. This is a specific feeling I get when I eat carbs and then run later in the day. I try to be cautious of my carb intake when I know I'm running later, but I didn't think two small tortillas would induce carb zombie syndrome. I felt slight heartburn a general tightness in my chest. I couldn't get my breathing under control, this is rarely a problem for me. My legs felt a bit stronger, but I still felt as if I was trying to run while dragging weights behind me. And that 80 year old guy was back! He's so swift! Damn him! I'm 31! He's old .... reeeeallly old. I made it about 2.5 miles, then spent about 6 minutes on the bike and 6 minutes lifting weights. I attempted planks. I couldn't hold them for very long. I briefly hung my head and then went home.
So, three runs. I trudged, slowly.
At some point during this week I started thinking about college. I ran a mile at the gym once and was so thrilled with myself I almost fell off the treadmill when I was done. Then, I ran 20 minutes without stopping! I was astonished. I've come a long way since then. I've learned a lot. I've had highs and lows. I've had years of not running and years of running great distances. Running is hard. I'm battling right now. Let's hope good things can happen if I keep at it.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Not running.
So .... I ran 7 half marathons between November 2010 and October 2011. Then, I became a sloth. At first I felt a rest was needed. I had a slight pain behind my left knee that worried me and I knew taking a break would be the best thing for it. Then, other "things" got in the way ... Let's see, can I use the holidays as an excuse for being a sloth? Can I blame it on chilly weather? Work? Needing time to shut down a little and recharge? At the end of December I was looking forward to having two weeks off for a plethora of reasons, including having time to get to the gym. I prefer running inside in the winter and don't mind the treadmill at all. BUT. I don't think I went to the gym once during those two weeks. So, 2012 began. I hadn't worked out in 2 months. A new year! Fresh start! I don't tend to make New Year's resolutions, but I thought I'd get my act together and run.
At some point I signed up for another half in Chicago on April 1st. I calculated I would have plenty of time to train well (I tend to haphazardly train). I would set out a plan. I would cross-train. I'd run intervals. I'd do fartleks! I'd have these existential long runs where I would glide like a gazelle and conquer all despair, boredom, angst, and unexpected challenges that presented themselves. In other words, I would be superhuman runner Jamie.
That didn't exactly happen.
I thought about joining a gym within walking distance of my apartment. Maybe I'd get there more often? I checked it out and liked my current gym much better. I thought about signing up for some January/February 5K races. It's cold. I don't like cold. Why would I want to run outside in the cold and possible snow? I thought about making a schedule. I don't do schedules. I'm a zen runner. (Yes, I know this is semi crap and more excuse-making).
So, now it's March 6. I've run some. I made it 4 miles a couple of times. I've had a several 3 mile runs. I've lifted weights (twice?). I've pushed through that How-can-I-be-this-out-of-shape? feeling, although I've probably regained that feeling again at this point. And this weekend instead of working out Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday (day off work) like I wanted to, I sat . . . and slept. and ate. I had a burger the size of a small country. I had pizza twice. I think I had ice cream at some point. I drank beer. And I weighed myself this morning. I am two pounds shy of the most I've ever weighed as an adult. MY LIFE IS FLASHING BEFORE MY EYES. Ahhhhh.
Runner's World arrived this weekend and it's sitting on the table mocking me. I don't want to pick it up. All those people are runners. They are dedicated. They ACTUALLY RUN. I sit. I nap. I eat Cadbury eggs and Sweetarts. I am sloth-like.
I get emails constantly for races. Come run the Madison Mini Marathon! Run the Shamrock Shuffle! I can feel the emails secretly laughing at me. "Haha, you call yourself a runner! You feel like crap! You couldn't really run these races. Hahaha." Plus, it doesn't help that this past weekend was the one year anniversary of my half marathon PR in New York City. I had visions of breaking that record in April. I was going to work hard!
So, here I sit, knowing I'm not in the worst shape of my entire life, but not nearly as fit I was a year ago or as strong as I had hoped to be by March of 2012. I was sucked into the semi sedentary world of TV watching, snack eating, all day pijama wearing, and nap taking. Yes, all of those things are fine as long as I'm still running, but I haven't been. And I hate how it has made me feel.
Not running + sedentary lifestyle = I feel awful. Time to climb out of that hole. How do I do that?
One run at a time, I guess.
At some point I signed up for another half in Chicago on April 1st. I calculated I would have plenty of time to train well (I tend to haphazardly train). I would set out a plan. I would cross-train. I'd run intervals. I'd do fartleks! I'd have these existential long runs where I would glide like a gazelle and conquer all despair, boredom, angst, and unexpected challenges that presented themselves. In other words, I would be superhuman runner Jamie.
That didn't exactly happen.
I thought about joining a gym within walking distance of my apartment. Maybe I'd get there more often? I checked it out and liked my current gym much better. I thought about signing up for some January/February 5K races. It's cold. I don't like cold. Why would I want to run outside in the cold and possible snow? I thought about making a schedule. I don't do schedules. I'm a zen runner. (Yes, I know this is semi crap and more excuse-making).
So, now it's March 6. I've run some. I made it 4 miles a couple of times. I've had a several 3 mile runs. I've lifted weights (twice?). I've pushed through that How-can-I-be-this-out-of-shape? feeling, although I've probably regained that feeling again at this point. And this weekend instead of working out Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday (day off work) like I wanted to, I sat . . . and slept. and ate. I had a burger the size of a small country. I had pizza twice. I think I had ice cream at some point. I drank beer. And I weighed myself this morning. I am two pounds shy of the most I've ever weighed as an adult. MY LIFE IS FLASHING BEFORE MY EYES. Ahhhhh.
Runner's World arrived this weekend and it's sitting on the table mocking me. I don't want to pick it up. All those people are runners. They are dedicated. They ACTUALLY RUN. I sit. I nap. I eat Cadbury eggs and Sweetarts. I am sloth-like.
I get emails constantly for races. Come run the Madison Mini Marathon! Run the Shamrock Shuffle! I can feel the emails secretly laughing at me. "Haha, you call yourself a runner! You feel like crap! You couldn't really run these races. Hahaha." Plus, it doesn't help that this past weekend was the one year anniversary of my half marathon PR in New York City. I had visions of breaking that record in April. I was going to work hard!
So, here I sit, knowing I'm not in the worst shape of my entire life, but not nearly as fit I was a year ago or as strong as I had hoped to be by March of 2012. I was sucked into the semi sedentary world of TV watching, snack eating, all day pijama wearing, and nap taking. Yes, all of those things are fine as long as I'm still running, but I haven't been. And I hate how it has made me feel.
Not running + sedentary lifestyle = I feel awful. Time to climb out of that hole. How do I do that?
One run at a time, I guess.
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